Well then, cock, as you have tried almost every existence and know everything, please tell me clearly about the life of the rich and the life of the poor, each by itself, so that I may learn if you are telling the truth when you declare that I am happier than the rich.
Well now, look at it this way, Micyllus. As for you,
you are little concerned about war if you hear that
the enemy is approaching, and you do not worry for
fear they may lay your farm waste in a raid or
In time of peace, on the other hand, being one of
the voters, you go to the assembly and lord it over
the rich while they quake and cringe and seck your
good will with presents. Besides, it is they who
toil that you may have baths and shows and everything else to your heart’s content, while you investigate and scrutinize them harshly like a master,
sometimes without even letting them say a word for
themselves; and if you choose you shower them
generously with stones or confiscate their properties.
And_ you do not dread an informer, nor yet a robber
who might steal your gold by climbing over the
coping or digging through the wall; and you are
not bothered with casting up accounts or collecting
debts or squabbling with your confounded agents,
and thus dividing your attention among so many
worries. No, after you have finished a sandal and
received your pay of seven obols, you get up from
your bench toward evening, take a bath if you choose,
So in consequence of all this you are sound and strong in body and can stand the cold, for your hardships have trained you fine and made you no mean fighter against adverse conditions that scem to the rest of the world irresistible. No chance that one of their severe illnesses will come near you: on the contrary, if ever you get a light fever, after humouring it a little while you jump out of bed at once, shaking off your discomfort, and the fever takes flight immediately on seeing that you drink cold water and have no use for doctors’ visits. But the rich, unhappy that they are—what ills are they not subject to through intemperance? Gout and consumption and pneumonia and dropsy are the consequences of those splendid dinners.
In brief, some of them who like Icarus fly high and draw near the sun without knowing that their wings are fitted on with wax, now and then make a great splash by falling head-first into the sea, while of those who, copying Daedalus, have not let their ambitions soar high in the air but have kept them close to earth so that the wax is occasionally wet with spray, the most part reach their journey’s end in safety.
You mean temperate and sensible people.
But as for the others, Micyllus, you can see how
sadly they come to grief when a Croesus with his
Tell me, cock, when you were king—for you say you were once on a time—how did you find that life? You were completely happy, I suppose, as you had what is surely the acme of all blessings.
Don’t even remind me of it, Micyllus, so utterly wretched was I then; for although in all things external I seemed to be completely happy, as you say, I had a thousand vexations within.
What were they? What you say is strange and not quite credible.
I ruled over a great country, Micyllus, one that
roduced everything and was among the most noteworthy for the number of its people and the beauty
of its cities, one that was traversed by navigable
rivers and had a sea-coast with good harbours ; and
I had a great army, trained cavalry, a large bodyguard, triremes, untold riches, a great quantity of
gold plate and all the rest of the paraphernalia of
rule enormously exaggerated, so that when I went
out the people made obeisance and thought they
beheld a god inthe flesh, and they ran up one after
You haven’t yet told me what the clay and the props and bars are in monarchy, nor what that “quantity of ugly stuff” is. [ll grant you, to drive out as the ruler of so many people amid admiration and homage is wonderfully like your comparison of the colossus, for it savours of divinity. But tell me about the inside of the colossus now.
What shall I tell you first, Micyllus? The terrors,
the frights, the suspicions, the hatred of your
Tut, tut! What you say is dreadful, cock. For
That is a long story you are starting, and we have
not time for it just now. But to give the upshot of
it, there is no existence that did not seem to me more
care-free than that of man, since the others are con-
‘ formed to natural desires and needs alone ; you will
not see among them a horse bailiff or a frog informer
No doubt that is true, cock. But as to myself, I am not ashamed to tell you how I feel. I am not yet able to unlearn the desire of becoming rich that [have had since my boyhood. My dream, too, still stands before my eyes displaying its gold; and above all I am choking with envy of that confounded Simon, who is revelling in so many blessings.
I will cure you, Micyllus. As it is still night, get up and follow me; I will take you to visit Simon and to the house of the other rich men, so that you may see what their establishments are like.
How can you do it when their doors are locked? You aren't going to make me be a burglar ?
Not by any means. But Hermes, to whom IT am consecrated, gave me this privilege, that if my longest tail feather, the one that is so pliant that it curls—
You have two like that.
It is the one on the right, and if I permit any man
to pull it out and keep it, that man, as long as I
choose, can open every door and see everything
without being seen himself.
It is hard to believe what you say, that Hermes, himself a thief, begrudges others the same privilege. But let’s be off just the same ; I'll keep my hands off the gold if I can.
First pluck the feather out, Micyllus . . . What's this? You have pulled them both out !
It is safer to do so, cock, and it will spoil your beauty less, preventing you from being crippled on one side of your tail.
All right. Shall we visit Simon first, or one of the other rich men?
No: Simon, who wants to have a name of four
syllables instead of two, now that he is rich. Here
we are at the door already. What shall I do next?
Look at that now! Heracles! The door has opened just as it would toa key!
Lead on. Do you see him sitting up and figuring ?
Yes, by Heaven, beside a dim and thirsty lamp ; he is pale for some reason, cock, and all run down and thin; from worrying, I suppose, for there was no talk of his being ill in any other way.
Listen to what he is saying and you will find out how he got this way.
Well, then, that seventy talents is quite safely
buried under the bed and no one else knows of it;
but as for the sixteen, I think Sosylus the groom saw
me hiding them under the manger. At any rate he
is all for hanging about the stable, though he is not
particularly attentive to business otherwise or fond
of work. I have probably been robbed of much
more than that, or else where did Tibius get the
money for the big slice of salt fish they said he
treated himself to yesterday or the earring they said
he bought for his wife at a cost of five whole
drachmas ?_ It’s my money these fellows are squandering, worse luck! But my cups are not stored in a
safe place, either, and there are so many! I’m afraid
someone may burrow under the wall and steal them:
many envy me and plot against me, and above all my
neighbour Micyllus.
Hush, Micyllus, for fear he may find out that we are here.
At any rate it is best to stay awake myself and keep watch. I'll get up from time to time and go all about the whole house. Who is that? I see you, burglar . . . oh! no, you are only a pillar, it is allright. Ill dig up my gold and count it again, for fear I made a mistake yesterday. There, now, somebody made a noise: he’s after me, of course. I am beleaguered and plotted against by all the world. Where is my sword? If I find anyone ... Let us bury the gold again.
Well, Micyllus, that is the way Simon lives. Let’s o and visit someone else while there is still a little of the night left.
Unfortunate man, what a life he leads! I wish my enemies wealth on those terms! Well, I want to hit him over the head before I go.
Who hit me? I’m being robbed, unlucky that I am !
Groan and lie awake and grow like your gold
in colour, cleaving fast to it! Let’s go and see
Gnipho the money-lender, if you don’t mind. He
Do you see him awake with his worries like the other, computing his interests and wearing his fingers tothe bone? And yet he will soon have to leave all this behind and become a beetle or a gnat or a dogfly.
I see an unfortunate, senseless man who even now lives little better than a beetle or a gnat. And how completely run down he is from his computations ! Let’s go and see another.
Your friend Eucrates, if you like. See, this door has opened too, so let’s go in.
All this belonged to me a little while ago.
Why, are you still dreaming of your wealth? Do you see Eucrates and his servant, old man as he is. . .?
Yes, by Heaven, I see lust and sensuality and lewdness ill befitting a human being ; and in another quarter I see his wife and the cook . . .
How about it? Would you be willing to inherit
all this too, Micyllus, and have all that belongs to
Eucrates ?
Well, the day is just breaking, so let’s go home now ; you shall see the rest of it some other time.