Opposite the women, the first was Eucritus, and then Aristaenetus. Then a question was raised whether Zenothemis the Stoic should have _precedence, he being an old man, or Hermon the Epicurean, because he was a priest of the Twin Brethren and a member of the leading family in the city. But Zenothemis solved the problem ; “Aristaenetus,” said he, “if you put me second to this man here,— an Epicurean, to say nothing worse of him,—I shall go away and leave you in full possession of your board.” With that he called his attendant and made as if to go out. So Hermon said: “Take the place of honour, Zenothemis; but you would have done well to yield to me because I am a priest, if for no other reason, however much you despise Epicurus.” “You make me laugh,’ said Zenothemis: “an Epicurean priest!’ With these words he took his place, and Hermon next him, in spite of what had passed ; then Cleodemus the Peripatetic ; then Ion, and below him the bridegroom, then myself; beside me Diphilus, and below him his pupil Zeno; and then the rhetorician Dionysodorus and the grammarian Histiaeus,

PHILO Heavens, Lycinus, it’s a learned academy, this dinner party that you are telling of! Philosophers almost to a man. Good for Aristaenetus, I say, because in celebrating the greatest festival day that there is, he thought fit to entertain the most learned men in preference to the rest of the world, and culled the bloom, as it were, of every school, not including some and leaving out others, but asking all without discrimination.

LYCINUS Why, my dear fellow, he is not one of the common run of rich men; he is interested in culture and spends the better part of his time with these people.

Well, we dined peacefully at first, and were served with all sorts of dishes, but I don’t suppose there is any need of enumerating them—the sauces and pastries and ragouts. There was everything, and plenty of it. Meanwhile Cleodemus bent over to Ion and said : “Do you see the old man ?””—meaning Zenothemis: I was listening, you know. “How he stuffs himself with the dainties and has covered his cloak with soup, and how much food he hands to his attendant standing behind him! He thinks that the others do not see him, but he forgets the people at his back. Point it out to Lycinus, so that he can testify to it.’ But I had no need of Ion to point it out, for I had seen it all from my coign of vantage some time ago.

Just as Cleodemus said that, Alcidamas the Cynic romped in uninvited, getting off the commonplace joke about Menelaus coming of his own accord. Ihiad 2, 408. Most of them thought he had done an impudent thing, and they slyly retorted. with the first thing they could think of, one growling under his breath, Menelaus, thou’rt a fool!Iliad 7, 109. another: But Agamemnon, Atreus’ son, was sorely vexed,Iliad 1, 24. and others other remarks that, in the circumstances, were to the point and witty. But nobody dared to speak out, for they all feared Alcidamas, who was really “good at the war-cry,” Like Menelaus: Iliad 2, 408. and the noisiest of all the Cynic barkers, for which reason he was considered a superior person and was a great terror to everybody.

Aristaenetus commended him and bade him take a chair and sit beside Histiaeus and Dionysodorus. “Get out with you!” said he. “What you tell me to do is womanish and weak, to sit on a chair or on a stool, like yourselves on that soft bed, lying almost flat on your batks while you feast, with purple cloths under you. I shall take my dinner on my feet as I walk about the dining-room, and if I get tired I'll lie on the floor, leaning on my elbow, with my cloak under me, like Heracles in the pictures they paint of him.” “Very well,” said Aristaenetus ; “if you prefer it that way.” Then Alcidamas began to circle about for his dinner, shifting 1o richer pasturage as the Scythians do, and following the orbits of the waiters.

But even while he was eating he was not idle, for he talked of virtue and vice all the time, and scoffed at the gold and silver plate; for example, he asked Aristaenetus what was the use of all those great goblets when earthenware would do just as well. But he had begun to be a bore by this time, so Aristaenetus put a quietus on him for the moment by directing the waiter to give him a big bowl and pour him out a stiffer drink. He thought that he had had a good idea, little realising what woes that bowl was destined to give rise to. On taking it, Alcidamas kept quiet for a little while, throwing himself on the floor and lying there halfnaked as he had threatened, with his elbow squared under him and the bowl in his right hand, just as Heracles in the cave of Pholus is represented by the painters.

By this time the cup was going round continually among the rest of the party, there were toasts and conversations, and the lights had been brought in. Meanwhile, noticing that the boy in attendance ~ on Cleodemus, a handsome cup-bearer, was smiling (I must tell all the incidents of the feast, I suppose, especially whatever happened that was rather good), I began to keep special watch to see what he was smiling about. After a little while he went up to Cleodemus as if to take the cup from him, and Cleodemus pressed his finger and gave him two drachmas, I think, along with the cup. The boy responded to the pressure of his finger with another smile, but no doubt did not perceive the money, so that, through his not taking it, the two drachmas fell and made a noise,.and they both blushed very noticeably. Those near by them wondered whose the coins were ; for the lad said he had not dropped them, and Cleodemus, beside whom the noise was made, pretended that he had not let them fall. So the matter was disregarded and ignored, since not very many saw it except surely Aristaenetus, for he shifted the boy a little later on, sending him out of the room unobtrusively, and directed one of the full-grown, muscular fellows, a muleteer or stable-boy, to wait on Cleodemus. So the affair turned out in that way, whereas it would have caused Cleodemus great shame if it had been speedily noised about among the whole company instead of being hushed up on the spot by the clever manner in which Aristaenetus treated the silly performance.

The Cynic Alcidamas, who was tipsy by this time, enquired the name of the bride, and then, after calling for silence in a loud voice and fixing his eyes on the women, he said: “Cleanthis, I pledge you Heracles, my patron.” Since everybody laughed at that, he said: “Did you laugh, you scum of the earth, that I gave the bride a toast to our god Heracles? I’d have you to know that if she doesn’t accept the bowl from me, she will never have a son like me, invincible in courage, unfettered in intellect and as strong in body as I am,” and with that he bared himself still more, in the most shameless way. Again the guests laughed at all this, and he got up in anger with a fierce, wild look, clearly not intending to keep the peace any longer. Perhaps he would have hit someone with his staff if just in the nick of time a huge cake had not been brought in; but when he set eyes on that, he became calmer, put away his wrath, and began to walk about and stuff himself.