But if you think that I am angry over a mere dinner, call to mind the story of Oeneus and you will see that Artemis herself was angry because she was the only one whom he had not asked to the sacrifice when he entertained all the rest-of the gods. Homer puts it something like this: Whether he forgot or would not, greatly was his soul at fault.Iliad 9, 537. Euripides says : This land is Calydon, lying over seasFrom Pelops’ isle ; a land of fertile plains.From the lost Meleager of Euripides. . And Sophocles: A boar, a monstrous thing, on Oeneus’ fieldsTurned loose Latona’s lass, who kills afar.From the lost Meleager of Sophocles.

“I bring to your attention only these few points out of many, so that you may learn what sort of man you have left out in favour of Diphilus, whom you entertain and have put in charge of your son. No wonder, for he is nice to the boy and is an indulgent tutor. If it were not beneath me to say such things, I might have told you something more, and if you wished you could find out from Zopyrus, the boy’s attendant, that it is true. But it is wrong to. make trouble at a wedding and to defame others, especially with charges sounseemly. Albeit Diphilus deserves it for having won two pupils away from me, I shall hold my tongue in deference to Philosophy herself.

“I have directed my servant, in case you offer him a portion of boar’s flesh or venison or sesame-cake to bring to me as an excuse for not asking me to dinner, not to take it, for fear it may seem as though I sent him with that in view.”

While all that was being read, my dear fellow, the sweat poured off me for shame, and to quote the saying, I prayed that the earth would swallow me when I saw the guests all laughing at every sentence, especially as many as knew Hetoemocles, a man with gray hair who looked to be highminded. It was a marvel to me that such a man had hoodwinked them, deceiving them with his beard and the concentration expressed in his features. It was my notion that Aristaenetus had not carelessly overlooked him, but that, not thinking he would accept if invited, he would not expose himself to any such treatment, and so thought best not to try him at all.

When at last the slave stopped reading, the whole party looked at Zeno and Diphilus, who were frightened and pale, and by the distress in their faces acknowledged the truth of the charges brought by Hetoemocles. Aristaenetus was perturbed and fall of confusion, but he told us to go on drinking just the same and tried to smooth the business over, smiling as he did so; the servant he sent away with the words: “I will see to it.” After a little while Zeno withdrew unobservedly, for his attendant directed him to go, as if at the bidding of his father.

Cleodemus had long been looking for an opportunity, as he wanted to pitch into the Stoics and was ready to burst because he could not find a satisfactory opening. But at last the letter gave him his cue, and he said: “That is what your noble Chrysippus does, and your wonderful Zeno and Cleanthes! They are nothing but miserable phrase-makers and question-mongers, philosophers in dress, but in-all else just like Hetoemocles, most of them. And the letter—see how venerable it is! To cap all, Aristaenetus is Oeneus and Hetoemocles is Artemis! Good Lord! In excellent taste, all of it, and just the thing for a festive occasion!”

“Yes,” said Hermon, from his place above Cleodemus, “I suppose he had heard that Aristaenetus had a boar ready for the dinner, so that he thought it not inopportune to mention the boar of Calydon. Come, Aristaenetus, in the name of Hospitality send him a portion with all speed, for fear you may be too late and the old man may waste away like Meleager from hunger! Yet it would be no hardship to him, for Chrysippus held that all such things are of no import.” The Stoics divided the objects of human endeavour into three classes—the good, which were to be sought; the bad, which were to be shunned; and the indifferent, or unimportant, which were neither to be sought nor shunned.

“What, do you dare to mention the name of Chrysippus ?” said Zenothemis, rousing himself and shouting at the top of his voice."Dare you judge Cleanthes and Zeno, who were learned men, by a single individual who is not a regular philosopher, by Hetoemocles the charlatan? Whoare you two, pray, to say all that? Hermon, didn’t you cut off the hair of the Twin Brethren because it was gold?Antique statues with golden (or gilded) hair are mentioned not infrequently. In the "Timon” (4) Lucian alludes to the theft of the hair from the head of the famous statue of Zeus in Olympia. You'll suffer for it, too, when the executioner gets you! And as for you, Cleodemus, you had an affair with the wife of your pupil Sostratus, and were found out and grossly mishandled. Have the grace to hold your tongues, then, with such sins on your consciences !”’ “But I don’t sell the favours of my own wife as you do,” said Cleodemus, “nor did I take my foreign pupil’s allowance in trust and then swear by Athena Polias that I never had it, nor do I lend money at four per cent. a month, nor throttle my pupils if they fail to pay their fees in time.” “But you can’t deny,” said Zenothemis, “that you sold Crito a dose of poison for his father!”