The effect on me was that by living this pleasant and luxurious life I grew handsome again in
body from having my natural food, and my hide
shone with a fresh growth of hair. But my most
worthy masters, when they saw me growing fat
and sleek, although my barley was not consumed,
but remained of the same amount, began to suspect my audacity. So they went out as if going
to the bath, closed the doors, and applied their
eyes to a crack and watched what went on within. Innocent of the fraud, I forthwith advanced
and took my dinner. They first burst out laughing at sight of the incredible meal. Then they
called the other slaves to see me, and there was
a general laugh, so that the master himself heard
it, because it made such an uproar outside, and
asked what the joke was out there.
When he
heard he rose up from his wine, peeped in, and
saw me swallowing a bit of wild-boar. With a
shout of laughter he entered the room.
I was
greatly disturbed at being discovered by the master
He perceived, as you may suppose, that I was
a remarkable creature, and ordered one of his
stewards to pay my price to the man who had
bought me, and as much again, and he handed
me over to a young freedman of his establishment, bidding him instruct me in whatever would
make me most diverting
him. The young
man found the task easy, for I obeyed instantly
every instruction. First he made me recline on
a couch, leaning on my elbow like a man. Then
he taught me to wrestle with him, and actually to
dance, standing upright on my hind-feet, and to
nod my head or shake it in answer to questions,
and a number of other things-all of which I
As I have said, Menekles, our master, was from
Thessalonika, and had come to this place to
make arrangements for a spectacle he had promised his countrymen of men skilled to fight with
weapons in single combat. The gladiators were
by this time secured, and the party set out. We
started at early morning, and I carried my master
whenever a stretch of road was rough and hard
for the carriages to traverse. When we arrived
in Thessalonika every one was eager for the exhibition and for a sight of me, for my renown
had preceded me from afar, and the report of
my versatility and manlike gifts of dancing and
But the man in charge of me made an income of a good many dollars out of me. He used to lock me up in a room, and when people wished to see me and my incredible performances he would open the door on payment of a fee. They used to bring in all sorts of eatables, particularly such as were considered revolting to an ass's stomach, but I ate them all, so that in a few days, by dining with my master and the townsfolk, I had already grown large and terribly fat.
Finally that day arrived which was to bring
such distinction to my master. They decided to
exhibit me in the theatre, and this was the manner of my appearance. A large couch was prepared, wrought of Indian tortoise-shell fastened
with bolts of gold. I was laid on it, and in this
posture placed on a machine of some sort, transported to the theatre, and deposited in the middle
amid shouts of applause and a universal clapping
of hands. A table was spread for me, and many
dishes were set on it such as human epicures
have for dinner. Slave boys stood in attendance,
handsome cup-bearers who served me with wine
in a golden cup. The man in charge of me, who
was standing behind, bade me eat my dinner,
But I was divided between shame at being exposed in the theatre and fear lest, perchance, a
bear or a lion should leap in.
At this moment some one passed by carrying
flowers, and among the others I saw the leaves
of freshly-gathered roses. Without an instant's
hesitation I sprang up and jumped from the
couch. The spectators thought I was getting up
to dance, but I fell upon the flowers, tore one
from another, selected the roses, and swallowed
them. And while the audience were still wondering at me, that beast's form fell from me and
vanished, the whilom ass disappeared, and to my
joy Loukios himself stood there naked. At this
incredible and most unexpected sight the company broke into great uproar in their terror, and
two opposing parties formed in the theatre. For
some thought I ought to be burned on the spot as
a master of unholy potions and a devil of many
shapes, but others said it was only fair to wait for
my account of myself and to hear the case first,
and then decide on it. For my part, I ran to the
governor of the province, who happened to be
present at the exhibition, and told him from below that the Thessalian serving-maid of a Thessalian woman had made an ass of me by anointing me with magic ointment, and I prayed him to
put me under guard until I should persuade him.
that I had told him my true history.
"Tell us your name," said the governor, “and the names of your parents and relatives, if you have any, and your city." "Sire," said I, my name is Loukios, and my brother's name is Gaios. As to our family names, we have the same. I am a writer of histories and other works, and my brother is an elegiac poet and a skilful diviner. Our birthplace is Patrai, in Achaia." When the magistrate heard this he cried, "You are the son of a family who are very dear to me, and my guest-friends. They have entertained me in their house and given me presents, and I know you tell the truth, since you are a child of theirs." And he sprang from his seat, embraced me, kissed me again and again, and conducted me to his home. At this juncture my brother also arrived, bringing me money and many other things. Thereupon the governor declared me free officially in the presence of the people, and we went down to the sea, looked out a ship, and put our luggage aboard.
Then we sailed away
from the city with a favorable wind, and a few
days later I arrived in my native land. There I
offered a sacrifice to the gods, my saviors, and
set up a votive offering, since I had been brought
home, and after long wanderings, and with great
difficulty, saved—not out of the lion's jaws, by
Heaven, but out of the curiosity of the ass.