Institutio Oratoria
Quintilian
Quintilian. Institutio Oratoria, Volume 1-4. Butler, Harold Edgeworth, translator. Cambridge, Mass; London: Harvard University Press, William Heinemann Ltd., 1920-1922.
as when one man replied to another, a worthless fellow, who had fallen down and asked to be helped to his feet,
Let someone pick you up who does not know you.[*]( Hor. Ep. I. xvii. 62, where the passers by reply Quaere peregrinum to an imposter who, having fallen down and broken his leg, implores them to pick him up, crying Credite, non ludo: crudeles, tollite claudum. ) Or we may shew our culture by drawing on legend for a jest, as Cicero did in the trial of Verres, when Hortensius said to him as he was examining a witness,
I do not understand these riddles.
You ought to, then,said Cicero,
as you have got the Sphinx at home.Hortensius had received a bronze Sphinx of great value as a present from Verres.
Effects of mild absurdity are produced by the simulation of folly and would, indeed, themselves, be foolish were they not fictitious. Take as an example the remark of the man who, when people wondered why he had bought a stumpy candlestick, said,
It will do for lunch.[*]( Lunch requiring a less elaborate service, but being in broad daylight. ) There are also sayings closely resembling absurdities which derive great point from their sheer irrelevance, like the reply of Dolabella's slave, who, on being asked whether his master had advertised a sale of his property, answered,
He has sold his house.[*](i.e. how can he? he has nothing left to sell. )
as the man did who asked a witness, who alleged that lie had been wounded by the accused, whether he had any scar to show for it. The witness proceeded to show a huge scar on his thigh, on which lie remarked,
I wish he had wounded you in the side.[*](ac. because then he would have killed you. ) A happy use may also be made of insult. Hispo, for example, when the accuser charged him with scandalous crimes, replied,
You judge my character by your own; while Fulvius Propinquus, when asked by the representative of the emperor whether the documents which he produced were autographs, replied,
Yes, Sir, and the handwriting is genuine, too
Such I have either learned from others or discovered from my own experience to be the commonest sources of humour. But I must repeat that the number of ways in which one may speak wittily are of no less infinite variety than those in which one may speak seriously, for they depend on persons, place, time and chances, which are numberless.