Carmina

So may the Gods love me, I did not think it made any difference whether I smelled Aemilius' mouth or his arse. In no respect is the latter cleaner, the former filthier; as a matter of fact, his backside is cleaner and better—for it comes without teeth. His mouth has teeth a foot and a half long, gums truly like an old wagon-box, and besides, he usually has a maw like the split twat of a she-mule pissing in the summer heat. This man has sex with many girls, and makes himself out to be charming, and is not condemned to the mill [to drive] the mule? Any girl who would touch him we would think could lick the arse of a diseased hangman.