Miles Gloriosus
Plautus, Titus Maccius
Plautus. The Comedies of Plautus, Volume 1. Riley, H. T., translator. London: G. Bell and Sons, Ltd., 1912.
- I’ faith, a charming opportunity for me to turn the wench out of doors.
- Aye, but do you wish to do the thing handsomely?
- Speak out, and give me your advice.
- Do you wish to pack her off forthwith, that she may quit you with a good grace?
- I do so wish.
- Then this is the thing you must do. You have a superabundance of wealth; bid the woman to keep as a present for herself the gold and trinkets which you have supplied her with, and to take herself off from your house wherever she likes.
- It pleases me what you say; but yet, only think, if I should lose her, and the other change her mind?
- Pshaw! you’re over nice; a lady, that loves you as her own eyes.
- Venus befriends me.
- Hist! hush! the door is opening; come this way a little out of sight. MILPHIDIPPA comes out of the house of PERIPLECOMENUS. This is her fly-boat-her go-between, that’s coming out there.
- How so—fly-boat?
- This is her maid that is coming out of the house, she that brought that ring which I delivered to you.
- I’ faith, she too is a prettyish wench.
- This one is a little monkey and an owl[*](And an owl: Spinturniciumwas the name of some ugly, ill-omened bird; of what kind it is not now known.) in comparison with the other. Do you see how she hunts around with her eyes, and goes fowling about with her ears. They stand aside.
Enter MILPHIDIPPA.MILPHIDIPPA PYRGOPOLINICES MILPHIDIPPA PYRGOPOLINICES PALAESTRIO PYRGOPOLINICES
- as she enters. My Circus, then[*](My Circus, then: This is an allusion to the Circus at Rome, where the public games were exhibited.), is before the house, where my sports are to take place. I’ll make pretence, as though I didn’t see them, or knew as yet that they are here.
- Hush! let’s quietly listen, whether any mention is made of me.
- aloud. Is there no one near at hand here, to attend to another’s business rather than his own?—to prowl after[*](To prowl after: Aucupois properly applied to a birdcatcher, or fowler, who watches his nets.) me to see what I’m about? No one who is feeding this evening[*](Feeding this evening: Qui de vesperi vivat suo.She is supposed to mean those who are not out on the hunt for a supper, but have got one of their own at home. These latter persons, she thinks, living at their ease, and not having to satisfy a hungry stomach, are likely to have more leisure for prying into the concerns of other people, than those who are put to their shifts for a meal.) at his own expense? I dread such men as these, lest they should now come in the way, or prove an hindrance somehow, should my mistress privately pass from her house this way, who is so enamoured of his person, who so dotes upon this very charming man with his exceeding beauty—the Captain Pyrgopolinices
- And doesn’t she dote upon me, too? She is praising my beauty.
- I’ faith, her language stands in need of no ashes[*](In need of no ashes: He says that she is so very clean spoken (laute et minime sordide) that she needs no ashes with which to scour her words; the figure being derived from the custom of scouring brass vessels with pounded ashes.).
- For what reason?