Miles Gloriosus

Plautus, Titus Maccius

Plautus. The Comedies of Plautus, Volume 1. Riley, H. T., translator. London: G. Bell and Sons, Ltd., 1912.

  1. Whither are you betaking yourself?
LUCRIO
  1. I am sent elsewhere: I’ll come back here just now.
PALAESTRIO
  1. Who has sent you?
LUCRIO
  1. Philocomasium.
PALAESTRIO
  1. Go; be back directly.
LUCRIO
  1. If it is divided, prithee do you only take my share of the punishment while I’m away. (Exit LUCRIO.)
PALAESTRIO, alone.
PALAESTRIO
  1. So—I understand what scheme the lady is upon. Because Sceledrus is asleep, she has sent her under-keeper away out of doors, whilst she may pass from our house to next door. That’s all right. Looks down the street. But Periplecomenus is bringing here a woman of very comely appearance, her, for whom I commissioned him. By my faith, the Gods are helping us in this matter. How becomingly drest she struts along[*](She struts along: By the use of the word incedit, he probably refers to the assumed stateliness of her gait.), not like a Courtesan. This business is prospering charmingly in our hands. Stands aside.
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS, with ACROTELEUTIUM and MILPHIDIPPA.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. as he advances. I have explained the whole affair, Acroteleutium, to you, and, Milphidippa, to you as well. If you don’t well understand this device and plan, I wish you to hear it all over again. If you comprehend it aright, there is something else that we may speak of in preference.
ACROTELEUTIUM
  1. I’ faith, it would be folly, and ignorance, and foolishness, for me to engage in the service of another, or to promise you my assistance, if, in its fabrication, I did not know how to be either mischievous or clever at deceiving.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. But, ’tis better for you to be instructed.
ACROTELEUTIUM
  1. Really I don’t understand of what great use it is for a Courtesan to be instructed. How now! have I told you all in vain, after my ears had drunk in the draughts[*](Drunk in the draughts: Loream.The true meaning of this word seems to be a leather bottle. If it is the correct reading, it is here used by Metonymy for the draught which it contains.) of your discourse, in what fashion it was possible for the Captain to be cajoled?
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. But no one, unaided, is sufficiently perfect; for full oft have I seen many a person lose the road to good advice before they had found it.
ACROTELEUTIUM
  1. If a woman has anything to do mischievously and maliciously, in that case her memory is immortal at remembering it for everlasting; but if anything is to be done for a good purpose, or honestly, it will fall out that those same women will become oblivious that instant, and be unable to remember.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. Therefore do I fear that same, because both those things happen to be about to be done by us; for that will be a benefit to me in which you both will be acting mischievously towards the Captain.
ACROTELEUTIUM
  1. So long as we do anything that’s good, not knowing it, don’t you fear. No woman is awkward --- Have no apprehensions, they are ready for the worst.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. So it befits you. Do you follow me.
PALAESTRIO
  1. advancing. Why do I hesitate to go and accost them?
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. Well met, and opportunely, Palaestrio. See, here they are whom you commissioned me to bring, and in the very dress.
PALAESTRIO
  1. Well done: accept my thanks. I am glad that you have come safe. I’ faith, you bring them nicely dressed Palaestrio salutes Acroteleutium.
ACROTELEUTIUM
  1. Prithee, who’s this, that calls me so familiarly by name?