Often did Juno eke Queen of the Heavenly hostBoil wi' the rabidest rage at dire default of a husband Learning the manifold thefts of her omnivolent Jove,Yet with the Gods mankind 'tis nowise righteous to liken,Rid me of graceless task fit for a tremulous sire. Yet was she never to me by hand paternal committedWhenas she came to my house reeking Assyrian scents;Nay, in the darkness of night her furtive favours she deigned me,Self-willed taking herself from very mate's very breast.Wherefore I hold it enough since given to us and us onlyBoon of that day with Stone whiter than wont she denotes.This to thee—all that I can—this offering couched in verses(Allius!) as my return give I for service galore;So wi' the seabriny rust your name may never be sulliedThis day and that nor yet other and other again. Hereto add may the Gods all good gifts, which Themis erewhilesWont on the pious of old from her full store to bestow:Blest be the times of the twain, thyself and she who thy life is,Also the home wherein dallied we, no less the Dame,Anser to boot who first of mortals brought us together,Whence from beginning all good Fortunes that blest us were born.Lastly than every else one dearer than self and far dearer,Light of my life who alive living to me can endear.
TO RUFUS THE FETID.Wonder not blatantly why no woman shall ever be willing(Rufus!) her tender thigh under thyself to bestow, Not an thou tempt her full by bribes of the rarest garments,Or by the dear delights gems the pellucidest deal. Harms thee an ugly tale wherein of thee is recordedHorrible stench of the goat under thine arm-pits be lodged.All are in dread thereof; nor wonder this, for 'tis evilBeastie, nor damsel fair ever thereto shall succumb.So do thou either kill that cruel pest o' their noses,Or at their reason of flight blatantly wondering cease.
ON WOMAN'S INCONSTANCY.Never, my woman oft says, with any of men will she mate be,Save wi' my own very self, ask her though Jupiter deign!Says she: but womanly words that are spoken to desireful loverOught to be written on wind or upon water that runs.
TO VERRO.An of a goat-stink damned from armpits fusty one suffer,Or if a crippling gout worthily any one rack,'Tis that rival o' thine who lief in loves of you meddles,And, by a wondrous fate, gains him the twain of such ills.For that, oft as he . . . , so oft that penance be two-fold;Stifles her stench of goat, he too is kilt by his gout.
TO LESBIA THE FALSE.Wont thou to vaunt whilòme of, knowing only Catullus(Lesbia!) nor to prefer Jupiter's self to myself.Then, too, I loved thee well, not as vulgar wretch his mistressBut as a father his sons loves and his sons by the law.Now have I learnt thee aright; wherefor though burn I the hotter,Lighter and viler by far thou unto me hast become. "How can this be?" dost ask: 'tis that such injury everForces the hotter to love, also the less well to will.
OF AN INGRATE.Cease thou of any to hope desirèd boon of well-willing,Or deem any shall prove pious and true to his dues.Waxes the world ingrate, no deed benevolent profits, Nay full oft it irks even offending the more:Such is my case whom none maltreats more grievously bitter,Than does the man that me held one and only to friend.
OF GELLIUS.Wont was Gellius hear his uncle rich in reproaches, When any ventured aught wanton in word or in deed.Lest to him chance such befall, his uncle's consort seduced he,And of his uncle himself fashioned an Harpocrates.What so he willed did he; and nowdays albe his uncle. . . .he, no word ever that uncle shall speak.
So in devotion to thee lost is the duty self due,Nor can I will thee well if best of women thou prove thee,Nor can I cease to love, do thou what doings thou wilt.
IN SELF-GRATULATION.If to remember deeds whilòme well done be a pleasure Meet for a man who deems all of his dealings be just,